I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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