Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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