i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
