how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
