i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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