Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
