3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize