Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
