just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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