i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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