yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
