You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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