I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
