She's JV to your varsity
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
