he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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