Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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