I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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