12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just google imaged poop.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
