Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize