I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
