my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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