My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
