are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
