Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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