The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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