he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
