I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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