Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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