Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
