My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
