Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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