Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
