If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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