it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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