Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
