a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
