I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
