Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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