I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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