we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How naked do you want me to be?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
