This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I did not marry a roomba.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize