What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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