Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
