is your mom at the bar?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
