Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
