.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
