Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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