Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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