Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
