To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just invented taco cereal.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
