I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
