I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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