i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
