Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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