Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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