her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
