wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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