What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
