I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
