on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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