at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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