More tranny stories later!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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