Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
