Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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